Title:  Shattered to His Soul
Contact: kelhapam@metrocast.net
Series: VOY
Rating: PG
Code: P
Part: 1/1 NEW
Date: January 2001

Summary: A coda to Shattered, from Tom's point of view.  Spoilers
contained within.

Disclaimer: Paramount owns Voyager and its characters. I've only
borrowed the characters to satisfy my own creative urges.
Archiving is okay, just e-mail me. Please keep disclaimer and my
name attached.  

Special thanks to my beta readers: Ronda and Marianne.

Shattered to His Soul
January 2001

He had stumbled across the file while helping Vorik repair a
communications relay after Voyager had been attacked yet again. 
At first he didn't even know what it was he was listening to.  By
the time he did, it was too late.  

Chakotay should be more careful, Tom thought.  A man of his
position and experience, should learn how to better encode his
personal logs--particularly logs which contained such
confidential information.  Information that no one else should
know.

"Mr. Paris, please pass me a sonic wrench."

Tom looked up from an open panel still holding an audio device
against his ear, the Vulcan's words barely registered.

"Mr. Paris, the sonic wrench?" Vorik repeated.

"Ah, sonic wrench," the pilot confirmed.  "Got it."  Finding the
tool, he tossed it across the corridor into Vorik's waiting
hands.  He then picked up a cable splicer and turned away from
the Vulcan.

Vorik noted the blank look on the young man's face.  Choosing to
ignore it, he continued with the repair confident Paris would
resume his own assigned task.  

Trying to refocus, Tom's hand tightened on the splicer until his
knuckles whitened.  

The Captain dead.  Chakotay too, seventeen years ago.  It's what
the future Icheb and Naomi had told the First Officer. It seemed
so unreal...but then again that was what life was like on board
Voyager--unpredictable.  It was also one of those damned time
paradoxes, but this one struck home, particularly when Chakotay
recalled his visit to the Mess Hall.  

Chakotay noted during his time on Voyager when the ship had been
fragmented into different periods of time, he'd visited the Mess
Hall.  That particular area of the ship was living in a period of
time shortly after Voyager had been struck by an time-altering
energy stream. By Tom's calculations, this could have been the
incident which was responsible for killing the two senior
officers.   It was there in the Mess Hall, which was being used
as a emergency Triage Unit, Chakotay had witnessed the pilot
caring for the injured. Chakotay related how Tom told him there
were a lot of casualties, and how he needed medical supplies and
the EMH's help.  The EMH?  Had the Doctor also been a victim of
the blast?  

It was just too much.  The First Officer recalled a touching
moment between Tuvok and the Janeway from the past. On one of the
cots lay a severely injured Tuvok, his face severely burned from
radiation poisoning.  Janeway had gone to comfort her injured
friend.  Tuvok had extended the traditionally Vulcan greeting:
Live Long and Proper, before he died.

With an echoing clang, the splicer fell to the deck.

Janeway, Chakotay, Tuvok--all dead, the EMH offline.  And Tom
Paris thus in charge of not only the ship, but of the medical
facilities.  In one chilling moment, he'd become Captain AND
Chief Medical Officer.  It was overwhelming.  They had unexpected
incidents happen all the time on Voyager.  When the crew woke in
the morning, they never knew exactly what the day would hold.  If
they'd spend another routine day on the ship, or be embroiled in
a life or death battle.  

But damn!  Could he, the here-and-now Tom Paris cope if the
circumstances ever called on him to be the ship's captain?  What
if Voyager's three senior officers did die in battle?  What if
the Doc, couldn't be brought on line?  Then what?  Could he
handle the situation?  

Oh he knew he'd have help.  Harry would make a fine first
officer, and he could finally give Harry the second pip he so
deserved. Seven of Nine could assume Harry's responsibilities on
the ship, she'd be...efficient.  Ayala would succeed Tuvok. And
there were a couple of very competent pilots, either of whom
could become chief pilot. Of course, B'Elanna would still be in
Engineering.  He knew his wife would never want to be stuck on
the Bridge away from her precious warp core. 

Why was he thinking about this?  Why was he already making plans
in his mind?  Damn, he didn't want anything like this to happen. 
Maybe he was just being morbid?  It was like every time his
father was late returning home from a mission.  He had these
awful thoughts course through his brain that the Admiral had met
some dire fate.  He found he just couldn't help it.  

Tom swallowed hard and with a subconscious shake of his head,
whisked the negative thoughts away.  He put the information he
had learned from Chakotay's log in a far away place in his mind,
hopefully never to be remembered again.  Picking up the splicer
he stoically returned to his task.  

Suddenly the ship shook, the klaxons blared and red lights
flashed.

::::Senior Staff report to the Bridge!  We are under attack!::::

The End

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