CHEESE DOODLE
by Phyllis Sutherland

Last updated: September 17, 2000

Starring: An assortment of characters from Voyager (in particular Tom and B'Elanna) and from the PTF and Sandrine's group as well.

And so the saga begins...behold the power of cheese!

#1

Tom Paris ran his hands slowly down her back as he deepened the kiss.

She moaned into his mouth "Tom, I need you." Her hands caressed his firm chest enjoying the feel of the soft hair she found there.

Tom ended the kiss and began to nibble the side of her neck. Gently opening her blouse, he tugged her bra down to free one taut breast. Lowering his head he captured the pouting nipple with his mouth.

She gasped out, "Tom, we must stop what about B'Elanna."

"B'Elanna will understand why I find you irresistible Marianne"

Thus the cheese was doodled.

#2

The sounds of the messhall swirled around Tom Paris. Voyager's pilot stared at his breakfast selection, lost in his thoughts

"Tom"

"TOM!"

"What?"

" Harry?"

"Tom, what's wrong?"

"What makes you think there is anything wrong."

"You're eating a purple omelet without complaining and I had to yell to get your attention."

"Harry, what am I going to do?"

"About what?"

"I'm in love."

"Everyone knows about you and B'Elanna. Why is that bothering you?

"Harry, I love B'Elanna with all my heart, but this other woman only has to look at me and....... my insides melt like cheese

#3

<Crash!>

"@$%^&"

B'Elanna sighed in frustration.

Worried, Joe Carey asked if she needed help.

With a string of curses she slammed her fist into the console "Joe, I don't know what to do. I think I'm losing Tom. He's infatuated with another woman."

"B'Elanna. You know Tom loves you."

"Does he? He has never said those three little words to me. He calls her his:::::: sob :::::::Little Cheese. What's worse, when he showed up for our date::::::: sob :::::::he had Cheez Whiz on his collar."

Joe put his arms around her to comfort her.

"You must believe in Tom."

#4

"Tom! You shouldn't be here."

'I needed to see you, to touch you."

No, you love B'Elanna, not me and I'm in a relationship with a security officer who means a lot to me.

Grasping her hands Tom drew her closer. His eyes blazing with passion. "We can have this moment together he cried." Pulling her into his embrace for a long, slow kiss. Tom felt her surrender.

"Moan"

Her hands memorized his body.

<CHIME>

*Gasp*

<CHIME>

"Tom Paris! Open this door. I know you are in there with her."

@$%^&*(

"Computer" Tom ordered. Get my Little Cheese to sickbay"

#5

Her strong fingers began massaging his shoulders, his heartbeat became erratic Her breathing execrated as she moved her hands from his shoulders trailing them down to his fuzzy chest.

Tom's mind was swept clean of all thought but one. He wanted more. Wanted her in his arms now. Wanted her hands touching him all over his body. Needed to sweep her up and crush her body to his, make her his in every way possible.

She meant so much to him. She was his light in the dark, his shelter from life's rain.

She was the cheese on his pizza

#6

<Swish.>

"Captain glad you could make lunch today."

"Thank you, Mr. Neelex

"Is there something wrong between Tom and B'Elanna?"

"l have heard gossip about a possible conflict, but I have no information to share."

"This isn't about gossip Captain, they are my friends and I am worried. B'Elanna was here earlier to meet Tom for lunch. She commed him, when he did not reply, she requested his location from the ship's computer. Then she charged out of here mumbling under her breath. I could only catch a few words.

"Bat'leth"

"Sliced cheese "

"Fondue"

"Is she planning a dinner?"

#7

"B'Elanna?"

"What are you doing here, what do you want from me?"

"To talk, to explain, I don't know."

"What is there to say? You broke my heart."

"Listen to me, please."

"Get out while you can, p'tagh!"

"We never meant for this to happen B'Elanna. We were carried away with passion."

"Oh! I suppose the two of you were under the influence of aliens."

"We are trying to fight this. For your sake as well as ours, Tom still loves you, I am a passing fancy, like cheese cake.

A cheese souffle compared to your banquet."

"Forgive us."

#8

The room was filled with the aroma of incense. Two bodies bathed in candlelight.

B'Elanna floated on clouds of sensation as two strong hands caressed her body. Erotic desires battled with her need to ask him about the other...........

Suddenly, something warm dribbled across her breasts. Her nostrils quivered searching for the scent of chocolate as his tongue began to follow the warm trail .......

"BaQa!"

<Slap!>

"P'tagh!"

"B'Elanna please..."

"Get out!"

Watching as Tom left, she wanted to cry. Instead, rising to her feet and going to her shower B'Elanna removed every trace of melted Swiss cheese from her body.

#9

I gaze in rapt delight at him Trapped in the blue of his eyes Being drawn like a moth to flame

I inhale the fragrance of him Spicy tang of his aftershave The sweet musky male aroma

As my lips gently caress his Our kiss deepens and tongues entwine The taste of him shakes my very soul

Hands gently caressing my skin The light sure touch of his fingers Feeling the warmth of his body

We know we must stop this madness His heart belongs to another Even as his body joins mine

And thus the Cheese is squeezed.

#10

"B'Elanna forgive me."

"Why should I. Helmboy, once a pig always a pig.""

"I love you with all my heart." "I was a fool to fall for another woman. even though she had the flare of Camembert mixed with the mildness of Swiss."

"Ton, how can I ever trust you again?"

"I promise it is over between us." "Last night was really scary." "She took me to Sandrines to meet her friends, the cheese tray she called them." "It was terrible, all these strange women staring at me, like I was the last truffle in a box of Godiva chocolates."

#11

"Computer locate Ensign Paris"

*Holodeck 2*

<Outside Holodeck 2>

"Seven to Ensign Paris"

"Yes,"

<background noise>

"Yes, yesssss!"

<moan>

"Not again!"

Tom and B'Elanna must be having intimate relations again.

<Crash>

<Bang>

<Breaking glass>

"Seven?"

Startled Seven turned around to find herself face to face with B"Elanna. Who was with Tom Paris? The Doctor never covered this part of human behavior

"Have you seen Tom? We have a date on the Holodeck."

<Sudden screams:>

"No, don't stop!"

<Sound of objects being thrown >

<Impassioned cries>

<Swish.>

Laughing couple emerges

"You were right Lil' Cheese, the Leafs were great!"

#12

<Swish>.

<Door opens>.

<Gasp! >

"What are you doing here?"

"Checking up on you. I have heard things."

"What have you heard?"

"You have been a bad girl."

"No, I just did what came naturally, what any real woman would do."

<Sob!>

"Stop sniffling It is time for you to warp out of here."

"No! Please don't make me go. He likes me, he really likes me."

.....sniffle......

"You knew the rules when you took this assignment."

"LC you were sent to further the PT relationship, not break it up."

"But BC, Tom is so sexy."

"Shut up and pack!"

#13

"Please, Big Cheese."

"No!"

"Just one more day. You can stay with me."

"Well,"

"What can I do with you watching?"

"I have fanfic to write."

"How about a visit to the Holodeck, Tom might be running Captain Proton.

"Maybe a quick peek."

<Outside Holodeck 2>

"Computer, is Holodeck 2 in use?"

*Holodeck 2 is running Paris Twist. Chakotay, Paris and Kim are present. *

"Are privacy locks engaged?"

No

Swish...... The Cheeses enter.

<Plaintive voice>

"Tom, why do we need to practice?"

"Harry, Harry, this is a Strip Twister Tournament, we can lose more than the game to the ladies."

#14

<Swish>

<Door opens>

"OH, excuse us sirs, we assumed Sandrine's was running."

"Honest mistake, Lil Cheese,"

<Megawatt Paris smile.>

Who's your friend? I don't recognize her."

"Ensign Brie Claire, she works in shuttle repair."

"No wonder, isn't that where Joe Carey disappeared to?" Smiling again at the flustered ensign.

"Yes, sir"

"Tom, what are you doing with a Twister mat"

"We're having a private contest with some lady friends and need the practice."

"We could help you practice." "You really need five people for Twister."

"Great!"

"Spin Harry."

<Shuffle>

<Giggle>

"HEY!"

"Sorry Tom."

<Thud>

"What the...."

"Oops, sorry, Commander."

<Laughter>

#15

"Well, ensigns, it seems our Holodeck time is up."

"Gee, already, Commander"

"Sorry, Ensign Claire."

"Tom?"

"Yes, my Petite Fromage? "

"But we only played one match ."

"Another day maybe."

Three red faced officers quickly exit the Holodeck

<Swish>

< giggles >

<ehehehehehehheehheehehehehhe>

"Tom's yelp when you put your hand on his butt instead of the dot."

<giggle>

<snort.>

"Chakotay's face when you fell full length on him?"

<hahhaahhahahahahahhaahha.>

"Is it time for me to leave BC?"

"No, I think you should stay, But you are to encourage PT."

(fingers crossed)

"I promise."

"I'll keep my eye on you."

#16

"Ouch!"

"Damn, that hurts!"

"Tom, what have you done?"

"Not me lil Cheese, B'Elanna."

"Oh, Again?"

"Yes, and I hate giving the Doc something more to smirk about."

"Well, if we create a private Holodoc you won't have to."

"Can you do it?"

"Sure, meet me in Holodeck 2 in an hour."

After an hour of hard work, success.

<Swish>

"Hi, Tom. Did you bring the med kit?"

"Yes"

"Let me introduce you to your private doctor, J.Frizzel, Aussie."

"G'day mate."

"Hi, I'm Tom Paris."

"I know mate, take off your clothes and lay down."

"For a broken nose?"

#17

"B'Elanna?"

What are you doing here, what do you want from me?

To talk, to explain I don't know

"What is there to say? You broke my heart."

"Listen to me, please."

"Get out while you can, p'tagh!"

"We never meant for this to happen B'Elanna. We were carried away with passion."

"Oh! I suppose the two of you were under the influence of aliens."

"We are trying to fight this. For your sake as well as ours, Tom still loves you, I am a passing fancy like cheese cake. A cheese souffle compared to your banquet

#18

<Darkened Messhall>

Harry approaches a lonely figure.

"Tom, what's wrong?'

"I don't understand women anymore, Harry"

<sigh>

"Did you have a fight with B'Elanna over your *friend* again?"

"Not exactly Harry. But Petite Fromage took B'Elanna to some program on the Holodeck. A show about stars something or other, now the two of them sit around giggling about something called an Obi-Wan."

"B'Elanna giggled?"

"I couldn't believe it either. Then B'Elanna was late for our Bat'leth match, when I called to remind her... she giggled something about polishing a lightsabre. What's a lightsabre?"

"Darned if I know, Tom."

<Sigh>

"WOMEN!"

#19

<Gamma shift, Sandrine's>

<Drunken Paris>

"Thomas, you are alone? "

<grunt>

"Cherie, you should not drink alone"

"Give me another"

"Non."

"I have lost the queen of my heart Sandrine and I don't know how to get her back."

"Which? La Petite Fromage or B'Elanna Torres?'

"What does it matter, I've lost both of them."

"Mon Dieu! How is this possible?"

"How can I compete with him and his lightsaber?"

"Ah, Obi-Wan, now there is a hologram."

"Not you too, Sandrine, what is his appeal? "

<Trill of laughter.

"Dear Thomas what can I say? "He has such large..... hands."

#20

"Computer, location of Ensign Thomas Paris, please."

*Ensign Paris is in Holodeck 2*

"Computer what program is running?"

*No Program*

Poor Tom he needed her.

<outside Holodeck 2>

<beep, beep, beep>

Thank goodness, no security lock.

<swish>

Tom was just sitting there in the middle of the grid. Head down, his shoulders slumped, he looked so alone.

"Tom."

"Go away."

The aroma of plasma coolent wafted to him. Small yet strong hands began to massage his tense shoulders. A gentle kiss on his hair caused him to turn and let her strong arms hold him.

"Who?"

"Just call me 'Junior'."

#21

Dark empty Sandrine's.

"$%^&*()_"

"That, p'tagh!"

"How could he DO this to us, B'Elanna, turn to her?"

"I want to know how he met her, LC. Who sent her to the Holodeck?"

<CRASH>

"Easy, Cheesecake. You could hurt yourself."

"But, B'Elanna, after all we have meant to him, he just goes with her."

"B'Elanna, I wonder where Tom is right now?"

"LC, I am leaving. As far as I am concerned Seven can polish the mighty lightsabre. I will always be grateful to whoever brought them together."

In the darkest corner of Sandrine's Baby Snot high five's Ensign Chapman

#22

"Emergency transport."

Tom Paris looked up, just as Tuvok materialized in sickbay supporting a crewman.

"Tuvok, what happened?"

"I was passing Holodeck 2 when I heard screams coming from Sandrine's I found this crewman being assaulted by other members of the crew"

"But why, Commander?" Tom asked beginning treatment.

"I could get nothing from the crewman, he was hysterical mumbling words like blue, uneven, chesthair."

"What did the other men say?"

"Not men -- women."

Just then Crewman Wright opened his eyes, when they met the blue eyes of Tom Paris'' the crewman jumped up and ran screaming from Sickbay.

#23

Crewman Wright sat in Sandrine's his eyes glued to the dark-haired beauty at the pool table

<sigh>

Skin golden in the subdued light.

<groan>

Watching as she bent over to take her shot, uniform molding to her shapely bottom.

<drool>

Tears of sorrow made double tracks down his handsome face as he watched her turn. Stepping closer to her companion, she slipped her arms around the tall pilot and offered him her lips...

"Tom ," she said in a breathy voice: "Kiss me."

<Crack>

Crewman Wright knew everyone heard his heart break. The price of unrequited love.

#24

Voyager's handsome pilot and Chief Engineer left Sandrine's hand in hand.

Mournful eyes followed the pair. A single tear ran down the face of the man watching them. There was no hope for him, he would be alone for seventy years.

"Crewman Wright, do you need assistance?"

Jim Wright looked up at the tall blonde before him. He almost looked past her bustline to her face, but not quite.

<Blush>

"Uh no, Seven. I mean, well I was just feeling a little lonely."

"Loneliness is irrelevant."

Jim's eyes glazed as he stared at the ex-Borg in her skintight catsuit.

<Smirk>

#25

The blonde owner of Sandrine's struggled to fill order after order being called out to her.

"Hey, Sandrine, what's up. Where is the hired help?'

"Ah, Thomas, mon ami. That cochon of a bartender, he 'as disappeared.' I turn my back for a moment and .....poof... he is gone."

"Well, I am sure he is here someplace.'

"Oui, he is off with his petite chouchou. that pate de fromage.... how do you say. cheese..... poof, Marie. She 'as but to whistle and he comes running."

"Sandrine, you knew you were asking for trouble when you hired a Martian."

"Oui."

#26

"Tom, it has been so long, I'm sorry we fought over nothing."

B'Elanna caressed his back and then she grabbed his tush to pull him closer, needing to feel his body against hers.

Tom cried out

<OUCH>

"Tom, what's wrong?"

"B'Elanna, I don't know. After our last fight I went to Sandrines to get drunk, next thing I remember is Sandrine waking me up and sending me home. My butt has been sore since."

"Drop your trousers while I get the regenerator. Kah'less!"

"B'Elanna what is it?"

"T.. To... Tom it is a... a.."

"What?'

"A tattoo. 'Property of PTF'."

#27

<chime>

"B'Elanna?"

<chime>

"I know you're in there, B'Elanna."

"Go away, Tom!"

<swish>

"GET OUT!"

"B'Elanna, I'm sorry I got drunk. It was wrong. But I don't know how I got that tattoo. Doc says he can remove it. Can't you forgive me?

"No, Tom, it isn't you."

As Tom moved farther into her quarters, B'Elanna tried to hide her computer screen.

Suspicious, Tom edged past the clearly upset Chief Engineer and looked at the screen.

Phillipa Tiea Fernandez

P'Trice Freemantle

Pavanov Teja Fatimok

Phrell Tren Fellis

"B"Elanna, what are you up to?"

Her only answer was a feral smile.

#28

<Chime.>

"Who's there?'

"Tom Paris."

"Come in, Tom"

"Little Cheese, I know you prefer the Scotsman with the big..... uh whatchcallit now, but I need your help."

"I fell asleep in Sandrines and someone, I think someone in that bunch you told me about, you know the gals in Sandrine's. They sort of....."

"What did they do, Tom?'

"Well, someone tattooed my butt."

"They WHAT?"

"Put property of PTF on my butt and now B'Elanna is hunting down everyone with those initials. You have to stop her. She won't listen to me. I don't even know what PTF stands for."

#29

Sandrine's middle of Gamma shift

"You! The one Tom Paris calls his "Little Cheese," I've been looking for you."

"Lt. Torres, what can I do for you?"

"One of these weirdoes you meet here tattooed my mate. Who was it?"

Lil Cheese: "It was me."

PTFreak: "It was I."

Senior crewman PJS: "It was all my idea."

Ensign Hale: "I did it."

Ex-Maqui Redshoes: "Your fight's with me, Torres."

"SNARL! Which one really marked my mate? I will have revenge."

"Stop! They are trying to protect me. I did it during a mood swing."

Pregnant Tom Fanatic waddles forth.

#30

B'Elanna glared at the very pregnant woman facing her. Then she realized half the female crew were present and Sandrine's was decorated with pink and white. Some type of party was in progress. Then the stunned half-Klingon remembered why she was there. With a feral snarl she stepped toward the group.

Ensign Preggo stood her ground defiantly and waited for what was to come.

"Why did you tattoo my mate? " What in Kahless name does PTF stand for?"

"Pregnant Tommy Fan."

"What?"

"I owe my condition to him. Without him I would not be having this baby."

"That P'tagh!"

"B'Elanna, wait!"

#31

Spinning on her heels the fiery engineer charged out of the Holodeck, ignoring the speaker.

"Darn that did not come out right," said Ensign Preggo.

The other women began to giggle until Ensign Petite Fromage gasped in horror.

"Oh my god, she misunderstood, we have to warn Tom."

Annie touched her commbadge but realized that was too public.

Pjs volunteered to find the handsome pilot and explain, unfortunately the others did not trust her motives, so Ensign. Fromage was delegated for the job. They knew her heart belonged to Lt. Jed I. Knight and Tom was safe with her.

#32

<Turbolift 1100 hours.>

Computer, locate Ensign Paris.

*Lieutenant Paris is in shuttlebay one. *

"Locate Lieutenant Torres."

*Lieutenant Torres is approaching shuttlebay one. *

Damm she was running out of time, she had to warn Tom.

<Taps combadge>

Ensign Fromage to.............

<swish>

<Turbolift door opens>

Startled Fromage cancels message.

"Mon Petite, what a delight to see you."

<blushing>

"Hello, Jed."

"I'm on break. Would you like to join me for lunch? "

<Sexy smile>

<Dazed tone of voice>

"Yes, I would love to have lunch with you. My errand can wait."

<10 minutes later>

"@#$%^&*!@~!@#$%^!@#$%^&!!P|tagh"

*SECURITY TO SHUTTLEBAY ONE*

#33

<Sickbay>

"Well, Mister Paris what have you done to yourself this time, another broken nose. How many times does this make? I will let Corpsman Frizzel repair this one. She always enjoys having you as a patient."

<Tom paled>

"Doc, not that quirky Aussie, she makes me strip naked just for a headache. I'm in enough trouble with B|Elanna."

"Are you saying Lieutenant Torres did this to you?"

"Yes."

"What did you do?"

"Nothing, Doc, she stormed into the shuttlebay screaming about pregnant women, called me a pig and hit me. She was still screaming when security dragged her away."

#34

"Mr. Paris, could this have anything to do with the message I removed from your.............."

"Quiet, Doc, that is private, just between you, me and B'Elanna."

"Well, obviously someone else knows, whoever decorated your derriere."

"I wish I knew what PTF stood for, then I would know who did it."

"There, your nose is ready for another adventure."

"Isn't it time for you to meet with your group and continue your obstetric studies?"

"Oh man, I almost forgot, got to go."

<Holodeck 2>

<Swish>

"Sorry I'm late, ladies."

<GULP>

Five pregnant women wearing shirts emblazoned PTF smiled at the pilot.

#35

<Holodeck 2>

Tom Paris was finally at a loss for words, all he could do was stare at the shirts, "'What, um, what does PTF stand for?"

"Why, it stands for Pregnant Tommy Fanatics," said Ensign Preggo. "Are you upset?"

A very red-faced Paris tried to speak, but only got redder.

"Does this mean that one of you ah.... ah ...tattooed my ah.........? "

Ensign Preggo smiled at the pilot.

"Yes, Tom, I am afraid so, but it was during a mood swing and you looked so cute sleeping in Sandrine's."

<moan>

"Tom, help me!"

"K~ris, what's wrong!"

"IT'S TIME!"

#36

"What do you mean it's time? You are scheduled for next week."

"Ooooooooh I think the baby just changed the schedule."

"But, but... Paris to Sickbay."

"Yesss, Mr. Paris?"

"Doc, Crewman Shoelore is in labor."

"TOM!"

"Wha?"

"Ensign Preggo?"

"No?"

"YES"

"Emergency transport."

*Transporters are down*

"Computer transfer EMH program to Holodeck 2."

*Cannot comply*

<moan>

"Tommy, help me!"

Another PTFer moaned in discomfort.

"Three of them at once. Tom was getting frantic."

"Ensign Paris! Help!"

"TOM! Help!"

"The terrified pilot paled, all five it wasn't possible."

<Thud>

"End Program"

"Wake up, Mr. Paris, the test is over."

"Test?"

#37

"Agggggggggh!"

"Tom, what's wrong?"

Pale and gasping for breath, Voyager's pilot sat trembling.

"Oh God, B'Elanna, it was a nightmare from my childhood. I haven't thought about this in years. I thought I had out grown the horror of the experience."

"Tom, I known you didn't get along with your father, but you need to face these memories and conquer your fear."

"B'Elanna, this has nothing to do with my father. It happened when I was fourteen, I had forgotten about it, but Doc's test must have brought back the memory of...of..."

"Of what, Tom?"

"The Pointer of Doom!"

#38

"The pointer of what?"

"Doom. It was the nickname we gave an evil teacher who used her pointer like Janeway uses 'The Look.' I get chills thinking about it even now."

"Oh come on, Tom, she couldn't have been that bad."

"B'Elanna, you just don't understand how traumatic her punishment was."

"Are you saying she used corporal punishment? What did you do?"

"Well, I sort of... There was this girl...She caught us kissing in the closet. Then she... <sob> gave me an hour and a half in detention."

"That's all she did?"

"But I wasn't...<sob> allowed to talk."

#39

Later that day in the messhall.

<Giggle>

"It's not funny, Harry. The man was terrified by the memory of some teacher from his childhood."

<Smirk>

"But, B'Elanna, you have to admit the...what was it? The Pointer of Door found the perfect punishment for Tom."

<Chortle>

"Tom Paris, the best damn pilot you can have, alos known as the fastest mouth in the Delta Quadrant, silent for a full ninety minutes. Impossible."

The two young officers fought the urge to laugh as footsteps approached their table.

"Hi, B'Elanna, Harry, have you heard the latest about...?"

His friends dissolved into laughter.

#40

"Ensign Paris, do you h ave a minute?"

"I'm due in Sickbay for my shift, but how can I help you, Crewman Wright?"

"Well, you've had a lot of expereince with women. I've gotten myelf into a mess. I've been dating two members of the crew and they found out."

"You are in trouble."

"Well, they decided to share me, but I did something stupid. I took Crewman Sable to Sandrines and they found out about it."

"Now they are threatening me with the Pointer of Doom."

<Paris blanches.>

"THE WHAT!"

"Pointer of Doom."

<THUD>

"Paris! Computer, emergency transport to Sickbay."

#41

Captain Janeway enters sickbay.

"Ouch, Doc, that hurts!"

"Be still, Mr. paris, this will only take a moment. Next time keep the safeties on."

The Captain could not believe her eyes. Patients were laying, sitting and standing wherever they could find a spot.

"Doctor, what is going on here. Did we have a warp core breach and no one informed me?"

Paris blushed and looked at the EMH.

"Captain, it was this way, I..."

"What Mr. Paris is trying to say is, he introduced a new game to the crew and this is the result."

"A war game?"

"Hockey."

#42

Captain Janeway's office, 1200 hours.

<Chime>

"Enter."

"You wanted to see me, Captain?"

"Crewman Wright, it has come to my attention that you joined Starfleet under an assumed name. Is that true?"

"Well, it is and it isn't, Captain."

"Please explain yourself, crewman."

"It is part of my life I am trying to forget. I assure you I was not a criminal."

"I am Action Kate, the hardass captain, explain!"

"With my gorgeous chest hair and indigo eyes, I was a male model named Flex Manly."

"Hmmm, you may be just the man I need."

"Captain?"

"Flex me, baby!"

#43

"Can I help you?"

"I thought Ensign Paris was on duty today?"

"I'm sorry, Mr. Paris is late. What is your problem?"

"I hurt my wrist in Sandrine's."

<swish>

"Sorry I'm late, Doc."

"You are just in time to tend crewman...?"

"R...R...Ronda SexK'ton."

<Paris Smile.>

"Relax, Ronda, he doesn't bite. Now what's the problem?"

"I hurt my wrist wielding the pointer of doom at my two-timing boyfriend."

<CRASH>

"Sir, are you all right?"

"P...P..Pointer of what?"

"Doom. It was my grandmother's."

'Y..Yo...Your grandmother's?" Paris began to shake.

"Sir, do you need to sit down?"

<Thud>

"Not again, Mr. Paris."

#44

<Sandrine's>

<Paris' Tush Fanatics meeting>

"Ladies, please control your drooling. Anjam you had something to say?"

"Yes."

<zap>

Anjam disappeared. Petite Fromage watched the Fanatics disappear, one by one.

"Computer, where are they?"

*The transporters are malfunctioning, they are in different areaas of Voyager*

*pop*

The Fanatics returned, all except Anjam. Everyone started talking at once.

"Astrometrics."

"Waste management."

"Messhall."

"Wait? Anjam didn't come back."

"Computer, locate Crewman Anjam."

*Crewman Anjam is in Ensign Paris' bedroom.*

"Where is Ensign Paris?"

*Ensign Paris is in his quarters.*

<pop>

Anjam reappeared in Sandrine's. Blushing, she gave Senior something.

Tom Paris CHEST HAIR!

#45

<Crash!>

"Quiet!"

"Sorry."

"If we're discovered we'll never complete our mission."

<Shuffle>

<Drag>

"Are you sure they can take a joke?"

"Well, I'm not sure about Senior, but I'm counting on Junior to restrain her."

"Careful, never say restrain and Senior in the same sentence."

"Jimbo, are you afraid of a little old lady?"

"No, Bash, I'm terrified of a lascivious old lady."

"Will the two of you get that banner hung before someone comes?"

"It would be easier with the lights on."

"Shut up, Bash!"

"Ten? Who died and made you Janeway?"

"It's done, let's get out of here."

#46

<Sandrine's>

"We are the first ones here, Voy."

"Gasp!"

"Voy, what's wrong?"

"That!" With trembling hand she points to a banner hanging from the rafters.

Turning, Junior saw large black letters proclaiming "New Home of the 'Space Paris, B'Elanna Belongs to Us' " signed: The Testosterone 4.

"Oh God, Junior, look at the walls."

Every wall was covered with pix of B'Elanna and Tom. In every picture, Tom was obscured with a large red X.

"We've got to take it all down, fast!"

"Who do you think did it, Voy?"

"Men with a death wish."

<Swish>

"Hi, girls, what's up?"

"SENIOR!!!!!!!"

#47

<Sandrine's>

Three men huddle around a table.

"Do you think they know it was us?"

"I hope not! How dare you guys get me drunk and trick me into doing such a dastardly deed?"

"Get over it, Ten, you're as guilty as Bash and I. You thought it would be funny to see their reaction."

"Maybe, but the look in Senior's eye makes me nervous. Besides, I like Paris, he's not a bad guy for an officer."

"Shhuuss, someone might hear you."

<Approaching footsteps.>

"Drinks are free tonight, messieurs."

"Thanks, Sandrine. But why?"

"La punition."

"What?"

<Thud>

<Thud>

<Thud>

"Punishment."

#48

"Moan."

"Oh, my head."

"What happened?"

"She gave us a Mickey."

"Sandrine?"

"Why?"

"That's what we're going to find out."

"Damn! Where's that light switch?"

"Why's it so cold in here?"

"Environmental controls must be off."

"There's the switch."

Light flooded the bistro, and the three men found themselves surrounded by a giggling crowd of Voyager's female personnel. Looking at each other they gasped in horror.

Jim was wearing a pink silk and lace teddy, Bash a pink lace camisole and matching panties. Ten wore a pink lace trimmed unitard.

Looking up they met the cold unsmiling eyes of Senior.

#49

The three unfortunate pranksters shivered in the glare of the lights.

Ronda blushed shyly at the sight of Flex's manly form as she and Leesh stepped forward to hide him from prying eyes. Bashful and Ten stood wrapped in the remnants of their dignity and tried to stare down the giggling women. With a flourish Senior tossed them robes of blue.

As the three young men donned the robes, Sennior straightened to her full height of six feet and smiling evily said: "Remember, guys, though we play with our clones and talk a little naughty, we take or PT seriously."

#50

Female crewmembers giggle as they read the announcement on the bulletin board.

You are invited to a birthday party in Sandrines tomorrow night for Ronda and Annie.

Special performance by the Voyager Cheese Wrestling Team.

Cone one, come all!

Cheer your favourite crewman to victory.

Watch them writhe and struggle in vats of brie.

Grapple in gallons of melted cheddar until their bodies glisten.

Who will win?

We know Ronda and Annie will be pulling for their own Flex Manly. Bash also has his regular backers, but I am sure many of you will be pulling for newcomer Ten Acious!

#51

Nervously clutching her Tommy clone T'Race entered Sandrines. She didn't know what to expect, wild rumors abounded about the sanctum sanctorium of the Feverites.

Above the bar hung a banner: 'Chesthair rules and Braga drools.'

Petite Fromage rushes to welcome the newcomer with a hug.

*Moan*

*Giggle*

A scuffling noise was heard from the direction of the bar.

*gasp*

Startled, T'Race turned toward the sound.

"Don't be scared, that's Senior. She likes to take Tom behind the bar and collect chesthair clippings." Claims it's the only way she can avoid running out of clones."

*Snarf*

"Like she needs an excuse!"

#52

Junior entered Sandrines and quickly tried to locate her favourtite Tommy clone. The problem was how to tell which clone was which.

A Tommy clone wearing only cowboy boots and a strategically placed blue bandana danced past with the tall black haired ensign from the planet TX 1401.

Other scantily clad Tommy's danced and laughed with happy Feverites. At secluded tables other couples were ingrossed in intimate conversations.

B'Elanna was there keeping a tight grip on the real Tom while never taking her eyes off Senior.

Suddenly strong hands caressed Junior's shoulders and someone whispered:

"What took you so long?"

#53

"Tom, no! Not here. Someone will see us."

"Hush, the Feverites are all gone, we are alone."

His lips began to caress her neck, so soft and warm. She couldn't prevent a moan from escaping her lips.

Her hands roamed his long hard body and discovered something else that was long and hard. Suddenly she was tearing at his clothes. His movements grew frantic with lust.

Then they were naked and Tom was lifting her up and impaling her on his hot pulsing organ. An electric shock of erotic sensation pulsed through her and Junior screamed with wild abandon.

#54

Ensign Whateveryou'recallingyourselftonight entered Sandrines for the first time in weeks. Seated at a table just inside the door she found Bajoran crewman Aire D'al sporting a bandage on her head.

"D'al, whatever happened to your head?"

"Hi. What? I banged my head on a console in Astrometrics."

"Why haven't you gone to sickbay and had Doc fix it."

"I did, but he just put this on and sent me away."

"Why didn't he regenerate it?"

"He said if he had to regenerate wounds whenever someone working with Seven beat their head on a console. He would run out of regenerators."

#55

Sandrine's has been remodeled.

Walk on lush carpet, a perfect match for Tom's chesthair. The walls are light blue shot through with reddish gold lines.

Relax on barstools built for two. Lounge on bearskins in front of our n ew fireplace or make use of the futons placed in dark corners.

Enjoy our new pool table that converts to a bed when needed. Play with the new balls or whatever balls strike your fancy.

We've added an ice rink and the dance floor opens for access to a pool for skinny-dipping.

Sorry, we had no money left to clothe the clones. ;)

#56

"What were you thinking, Senior? I left you in charge because I thought you could be trusted to show some moderation."

Senior slumped down on the blue futon, tears threatening to fall at any moment. Her clone wrapped his arms around her to comfort her.

Junior spoke up. "It wasn't all her fault LC, we helped her to di. Don't you love the fireplace?"

Stretched out on the white bearskin run a handsome nude clone with a biteable bottom lip smiled at the enraged LC.

"But you maxed out my credit card," she said weakly, wiping drool from her month.

#57

"Paris, you PIG, where are you going at this hour?"

"Um...I um..."

"It's hockey night in Sandrine's again, isn't it?" You're going to play hockey on that rink they put in."

"B'Elanna it's a great sport..."

"Sport my ass! It's just exhibitionism."

"It's the big game between my Mapleleafs and Chakotay's Avalanche. There will be a full house."

"I am sure of that. All those dirty minded women watching you guys skating in those outfits and don't tell me they are authentic. I'm sure they wore more than visors and jock straps with little logos in the 20th century."

#58

"Hold still, Mr. Paris. I cannot treat you if you persist in moving."

Tom "Best Damned Pilot You Could Have" Paris, moaned as much in humiliation as pain. He could actually feel the harsh lookscoming fromt he other patients in sickbay. They blamed him for their condition and even Harry, his best friend, wasn't speaking to him."

The young man couldn't help squirming as the Doc moved the regenerator over his naked body. He now firmly believed a person could die of embarrassment.

The EMH began humming a cheerful tune as he treated his capable, but sometimes annoying assistant.

#59

Kathryn Janeway failed to hide her smile as she watched the doctor treat her red-faced plot. Even a female Starship commander could appreciate how the young man's entire body seemed to blush.

"Mr. Paris, you have some explaining to do."

"Yes, ma'am, I...I guess so. We....uh, we were playing hockey on the Holodeck."

"I know that, Lieutenant, but why are half my senior staff and a dozen crewmembers suffering from frostbite in rather private places?"

*snarf!*

Glaring at a snickering B'Elanna Torres, Tom gulped and said. "Someone turned off the Holodeck safeties as well the temperature controls."

#60

*GRUMBLE*

Early morning in Sandrine's, a disgruntled Senior sweeps empty tubes of vairous flavoured oils into a pile. A loud clatter breaks the silence when she bumps against a stack of empty chocolate pails.

*GRUMBLE*

"What am I going to do with this bunch of Feverites?" she asked herself. "I go away for a few days and all hell breaks loose. A month's supply of cocolate gone, and 40 clones left in various stages of exhaustion. They look like they wre ridden hard and put up wet."

*GRUMBLE*

"And I can't get the stupid smiles off their faces."

#61

"CRASH*

"Unhand my clone, you witch!"

"Your clone? He's mine!"

*WHACK*

"Senior designed him especially for me, you can't have him. You're always coming in htere and messing with my stuff."

*Scuffle*

"Stop pulling my hair, you're just jealous because I am a better writer and my kids are smarter!" the evil twin yelled.

"You two-faced witch, I won't tell you again, TURN HIM LOOSE!"

"You can't prove she made him for you. They all look alike."

"OH, NO?"

Whirling the clone around, the good twin tugged on his loincloth. Letters one-inch high read...

Property of Tracy AKA Mother.

#62

Two crewmembers approached Sandrine's entrance. They'd heard wild stories about what went on inside and were about to find out first hand.

The nervous young man hesitated at the door, the sound of raucous laughter and loud music could be heard through the closed doors. He recognized the driving beat of "The Stripper" and realized the stage show was in progress.

"Mel, are you sure we should go in now? We could wait for a time when fewer people are here."

"Don't be foolish, no one throws Christians to the lions anymore."

"Mel, Lions I can handle, these are Feverites."

#63

Lieutenant P.T.  Fromage was startled to find a crowd of angry Feverites milling around in front of Holodeck 2.

"Fromage to security, there is a disturbance outside Holodeck 2."

"Tuvok here, I am aware of the problem a team has been dispatched."

Pushing trough the crowd Fromage tried to calm the women. 

"What is going on here, Masika?"

"It is Nude Flamenco Night and The EMH has quarantined Sandrines."

*GASP!*

*Why?*

"I will tell you why, Lieutenant" came the condescending voice of the EMH. "Someone spread a virus in Sandrines and all the clones are too sick to strip."

#64

Captain's ready room.

"Captain, I wish to report the problem with Holodeck 2 has been solved."

"Thank goodness, Commander, I thought we were going to have a mutiny on our hands. Those Feverites are quite obsessed. Was the Doctor was able to cure the clones? I heard someone spread a virus.

"At first, blame was placed on a sick Feverite, but that was not the case."

"It wasn't?"

"No, I must report that one of my security officers in a fit of jealousy tried to delete the Dancing Helmboy part of the program."

"Who was it?"

"Crewman U.P. Garaid."

The end for now......hopefully more to come!

Comments about these little doodles, that have turned into having a life of their own, can be directed to PSuther998@aol.com