Impressions
by:  P.J. Sutherland

First thing I noticed were his eyes.
They were cold, clear blue, carved from ice.
When he flashed me his flyboy smile,
His eyes held no warmth, no emotion.
They were like beautiful stained glass
Set in a stone wall of defiance.
That made me want to shake him---hard!
But I struck at his pride instead,
He would just be an observer.

First thing I noticed was his voice.
Smooth as silk, full of sarcasm,
As he quietly stepped in
To save me from that Ferengi.
As I followed him out the door
I wished I could be that cool.
Weren't you warned about Ferengi?
He asked, flashing an easy grin,
As we walked away from Quark's.

 I noticed his attitude first.
He wore an air of defiance,
A note of discord on the Bridge.
Wearing his rankless uniform
As if he had been born in it.
Who Was he; why was he on board?
Uncontrolled emotions swirled 
Across the Bridge of Voyager
As he glared at Chakotay.

The first thing I saw was his face.
That same sarcastic smirk on it.
The need to wipe it off his face
Surging through me like wild fire.
He had been given everything,
Admiral Paris' golden boy,
Starfleet poster boy turned drunk.
He'd sell his soul for drink money.
Now he had betrayed the Maquis.

I noticed how tall he was first.
Then how arrogant he seemed.
Even with a spotty past like his.
I was not on Voyager long 
Before we left on our mission
To find Voyager's lost crewman. 
But long enough to hear about
How bad his reputation was.
Coward who could not be trusted.

I sensed his deep sadness first.
A self-loathing hidden behind
A smiling devil-may-care mask 
He came with Neelix to save me.
One of the crew of Voyager
Trying to find their lost crewman.
I sensed his heart was wounded
And how much he needed a friend,
To see the man behind the mask.

The first thing I caught was his scent.
I could smell him, warm, male, earthy
No scent of fear for himself,
Just the concern he felt for Harry,
That he tried to hide from him.
He flashed a brief glance at me,
His blue eyes bright in his pale face.
A mask that hid his real feelings.
Yet his scent called to me.

Time has a way of changing things,
Where once his eyes were icy cold,
Now they sparkle with happiness.
Sunlight warming the stained glass.
The walls he built to hide behind
Are starting to crumble at last.
His eyes are warmed by his smile.
Blazing sunshine after dark skies.
Proud pilot of the Voyager. 

His voice is still smooth as silk,
But more often brims with laughter.
Though he said he was not good luck,
I told him I choose my own friends.
On my luckiest day, I chose him
To be my very best of friends.
When he says "Trust me, Harry,"
I know he is up to something,
But I will always trust in him.

Mr. Paris' attitude has changed.
He can still cause discord at times
With his strange sense of humor.
At times he is t oo impulsive, 
Leaping in without thinking first.
Devoted to Captain Janeway.
I think if she were to ask him
He would fly Voyager through hell.
It is not logical, but true.

We may never become fast friends,
But we have become true shipmates.
Day after day he has shown everyone
That the Admiral's brat
Has become a responsible  
Member of Voyager's fine crew.
Saving the ship with his flying.
Best dammed pilot you could have.
Irrepressible Tom Paris.

How can I describe my friend?
What I saw as his arrogance,
I now know was simple bravery.
Having seen his courage first hand.
His reputation has c hanged.
He has earned the crew's respect
As a pilot without equal
And as a man to be trusted
Tom Paris stands tall in many ways.

I have sensed the change in him,
The sadness has begun to lift,
it w ill never go completely,
But he is more at peace today,
His wounded heart begins to heal.
Slowly he has begun to trust,
To believe he is worth loving
And show the man behind the mask.
To learn to love and be loved.

The scent of him feels my nostrils.
The need to taste his warm red blood.
When did this happen to me?
When did I start to watch his smile?
To love the sparkle in his eyes?
Let his laughter curl around my heart?
Feel his pain as if it was mine?
When did I begin to love him?
**********************

Email:  PSuther998@aol.com 

Home Page:  www.pjinnh.150m.com/pjs/pjs.htm